Cheese!

Today is a national holiday in one "nation", the same as it has been for generations. It's the NFL playoffs, and Packerland is back involved once again. As a "citizen" currently clad in the replica uniform of a gentleman from Kiln, MS and a bona fide triangular shape of foam, I too share the excitement of many Cheeseheads from coast to coast, rooting for the real America's Team (apologies to Irving, TX for any bruised egos.... only if your does not beat ours again this year).

I settle into my throne, beverage nearby, awaiting this kickoff. Today's roadblock call themselves the Seahawks, which are only menacing in the hundreds anyway. They only brought 70-80, so we're safe with our frozen meat packers. Snow falls lightly, a true sign that playoff football and Lambeau are made for each other like a Billy Goat and barren foul poles awaiting of pennants in the World's Largest Beer Garden.

The ball is kicked off, and the game begins. A bobble on the return seems harmless, but is a harbinger of things to come. A bobble on the first play from scrimmage, a screen pass, has this "fool me once, shame on me; fool me twice, shame on you" feel to it. So much so that I blink and my beloved Pack are already down seven. The next sequence requires a journey into my dangerous mind to fully appreciate the stream of thought that governed my reactions:
- "It's OK. Just a lucky early break. Shake it off."
- "Well, at least he caught the ball off the kick this time."
- "Way to go kid! That's the way to say you're not living in your past mistakes."
- "Beautiful run up the mid....dle....."
- "WHAT THE $%^&$@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
- "2 fumbles, 2 TDs. And the field is getting whiter like my shocked face."
At this point, I'm saying "thank goodness" for the fact that all this happened in about 1/20 of the game time while praying that the inexperience in this situation for 99% percent of the team doesn't spiral into panic.

Thankfully, the aforementioned gentleman from Kiln (or is it an actual kiln, considering how tough and hardened 38 years can make a man) takes over. 6 passes later, a 2-man audible to a pass results in the shock deficit being halved and the youthful team remembering it's just a football game out there, nothing more. Then the defense remembers it has to uphold its end of the bargain too and to not be a doormat to touchdowns all day. So they force a punt, and the little running back who served up the fumbles in the first place remembers how to play like an alum of the University of the Golden Dome should. So he scores to atone for one mistake.

201 yards and 2 more TDs later, Mr. Grant has more than atoned for his early errors, helping my beloved Pack score touchdowns on six consecutive offensive possessions. I will Bang on the Drum All Day while enjoying this rout.